Part 2: After Birth!

I would firstly like to thank all my friends, relatives and even strangers for all your well wishes, and for those that kept baby Kaylen in your prayers, I am very very grateful to all of you. Baby is doing very well now as compared to the first week, and is putting on weight everyday :) Already looking forward to him coming home with me, and I suppose it will just be another two or three weeks!

This photo was taken about 3 hours after birth? Since I was in class B ward, I was not given the liberty to choose confinement meal. What I ate was porridge with some meat and vegetables that tasted super nice to me probably cause I was already starving!

My cousin Serena came to visit me for awhile since she is working in SGH, and was chatting with her and sister until my parents and brother came. My mom left at about 11am in the morning for work cause she didn't know I was going to give birth so soon! And she started talking about confinement to me already lolol! Cause apparently I wasn't supposed to take porridge and water? But what to do!! I am still in the hospital and there is nothing I can do. Confinement meals will only begin after I reach home from the hosp!

After resting for a few hours, I got out of bed, my sister wheeled me to the baby's ward and that was the first time I got to see baby - in person.

There were alot of mixed feelings when I first see baby in the incubator. One- relieved that he was born healthily, second- heartbroken to see him in tubes and seeing how small he is just makes me reproach myself, third- a moment of disbelief that I had already brought him to this world. In other words, I was still trying to comprehend the fact that I'm officially a mother.

What made me really happy and what melted me was how he opened his eyes to look at me when he heard my voice, like he could recognise that this is the voice of his mother. It was the sweetest feeling ever having him to grab my fingers just within a few hours of his arrival. How can a baby be so alert of his surroundings now??

Anyway! Hubby's friends Delon and Nicholas came to visit during the first night and Joey couldn't stop yakking about the entire labour process hahahaha. I only remember he kept saying there was alot of blood lol!! Thank you for coming to check on me! After all of them left including hubby, I was just on my bed staring into blank space, until one of the nurse came to ask me if I wanted to express milk for my baby, even though he hasn't start on feeding yet. I did tell her that I was leaking and there might be alot of milk for the start, but she didn't believe and gave me one small pathetic 5ml syringe.

Until she started massaging my boobs and more milk came out, so she had to take two of the 10ml syringe instead hahahaha. (Really considered quite alot for the first express.) So from then onwards, I am up every three hours, rented a pump from them so that I can continue expressing milk for Kaylen. WAH I TELL YOU I THOUGHT I HAD ALOT OF MILK BUT I WAS WRONG. The next few days was so horrible!! I could hardly fill the base of my bottle with milk T_T. The worst part is people around you that say "Huh!! SO little only ah? Enough for baby meh?" and those comments actually made me feel like giving breastfeeding up lol.

So please ah in future if your wives are gonna breastfeed, encourage her by telling her that the milk will come, and not comment on how little she is pumping and telling her it isn't enough for the baby. Our bodies are not machines! It takes time to 'cue' and 'demand' for more supply. After I tell hubby off once, and told him how stressful it is for me, he became for supportive and gave encouraging comments instead. Haha.

Kaylen's first photo with daddy. He was sooooo tiny back then!

BUT, the one and only person that I really really really need to thank is Hubby, for his unwavering support during those few days when I first got admitted to the hospital. Never would have gone through it without his care and concern and companion when I was alone in the hospital. Many times I cry and felt like giving up but he spurred me on by reminding how strong I need to be for him and for the baby.

I know it was hard on you those few nights, traveling to and fro from the hospital, coming early in the morning to have breakfast with me, and only leaving late at night when I am about to sleep. Especially during the time after labour when I was so grumpy and grouchy. When he tried to touch me and 'sayang' me I kept asking him not to touch me cause I'm super tired. HAHA I have no idea what was with the angst but I was a super grumpy woman, and kept asking to be left alone. I only went back to normal after a short nap after birth. HEHE.

It was especially sweet when he constantly tell me that I'm the hero in his heart now and how appreciative he is of me for going through all the pain just to give birth to Kaylen. (So now whenever he bullies me I will just remind him of what I went through HAHAHAH)

Only patients are allowed on bed but there was once he was so tired both of us just fell asleep on the bed, side by side. Until one of the nurses came in and say it is actually not okay, but she will just close an eye for the both of us hahahaha. Oh yes, my little penguin was there in the hosp with me since day 1 lol! I need something to hug to sleep so hubby brought me my penguin. hahaha.

He was on leave that week so he accompanied me as and when he could. Thanks hub !

So throughout my 3D2N stay in hosp (I can actually discharge after one night but hubby wants me to rest and stay for another night.), every three hours after I pump some milk I will bring it up to NICU and stay there to talk to baby for about 45 mins before I go back to bed and try to sleep. THE SLEEP WAS SO GOOD!! I never had a good night's sleep for damn long because of all the aching in the back during pregnancy, but now I SLEEP LIKE ONE PIG! Hahaha, I can fall asleep almost immediately all the time, and words can't explain how shiok it was lol!

But the next few weeks, the routine of travelling to and fro from hospital for twice a day was taking a toll on both our bodies. It is super tiring! Especially for hubby when he needs to visit baby after work cause we need to pass him breast milk. Thnnkfully, my father in law offered to send me to and fro from the hospital every afternoon, until lately cause I will pass hosp enough milk to last baby till night time, so I don't have to travel down every afternoon.

My routine now is to sleep at about 10 plus, wake up once at 2plus in the morning to express milk, another time at 5 plus in the morning, and then 8 plus again because the Malay lady who does my massage comes at 9am every morning. By the afternoon, I will sometimes feel tired again so I will take a nap. That was the reason why i couldn't find time to blog! Cause usually after massage I will go shower, and then prepare to eat lunch and prepare to go hospital. By the time I reach home, I need to pump again, and I will be dead tired. After the nap? Time to pump again before dinner, and after dinner I need to prepare to make another trip to the hospital. I really really didn't have any extra time to blog at all :/


---- ok time out, need to express milk lolol ------

FINALLY BACK!

First of all, sorry again for being away for so long! I have been receiving messages on my ask.fm over the past many months and I understand that you guys want me to update about my life as a mother! I'm really awfully sorry that I have been super caught up with school and work! Like I've mentioned in my previous posts, whenever I can find some free time, I always choose it to spend time with Kaylen or spend some lonesome time with the hubby to keep our marriage alive instead on spending on my laptop! BUT!!! Lol, since the little fella is asleep now in the room, and I have about an hour to do my stuffs, I decided to draft up this post and update bit by bit before I post it up.

The last time I've updated this platform was in April? And many many things have definitely changed over these few months, and I must say, better things are coming my way, and my life has been so much more stress free especially after I was done with my examinations last month! (Would be done with school if I can pass all my modules, so fingers-crossed!)

Okay, let's see what I can remember over the past few months okay? LOL!
And so....going through my photos, I remember I haven't posted about trip to Hong Kong!

Hong Kong Disneyland!

We went Hongkong for 5 days if I'm not wrong, and as usual, I decided we should head to Disneyland! And for the fact that I've travelled to Hongkong a couple of times, I planned out the itinery for the group, and we stayed at Metropark Mongkok again!

The rooms are not TOO bad, and we got a complimentary upgrade because we told the hotel that we were celebrating our wedding anniversary. (Always works, trust me lol!) And I love the location of the place! It was just about 5 minutes walk away from the Prince Edward MTR and from the hotel, we could walk to Mongkok MTR and there are so many shopping centres over there, including the Argyle Centre!

But as much as I enjoy the food in Hongkong, I believe I wouldn't be travelling there anytime soon already. Lolol I think I've visited Hongkong enough.

Oh yes, we went with his colleagues and one of his colleagues' girlfriend Venus tagged along too! Always nice to have female company in the group :)) She was the one who took awesome photos of me and Joey!

I believe this trip happened after Joey came back from his overseas deployment in Brunei and shortly after he went for his deployment in Taiwan. Being too used to his absence due to his work, it doesn't feel that bad when he is away for a month twice in a year. We still have to endure another two deployment next year, and after that he will be done with the force! Joey is most likely going to join his mum in AIA and I am still figuring out what I wanna do since I'm almost done with school. Most likely going to work for events for another year or two before I venture out into the work force and compete for jobs with other graduates.

Kaylen has been growing so fast and I really can't believe that he is already 14 months old now! If I truly reflect on myself for being his mother, I would honestly say that I'm not a perfect mother because I wasn't there for him 24/7, I wasn't there to sleep with him every night, but I really do try my best to spend as much time as I can with him and to watch him grow day by day.

Even though he is a little slow in his physical developments as compared to peers his age, he is a lot more vocal! He can identify many objects like ball, lights, fan, eyes etc. He will just point them out to you if he sees them and if you ask him 'where is mama's eyes?' He would point to my eyes. Very smart, but extremely active and notorious. He is a stubborn kid like his father, and would often scream and cry to get to what he wants. Attempting to be a strict mom, I would say no to him and sometimes gently beat his hands only to receive - you know what? A slap from him or a bite from him. :( Teaching a child is not as easy as we thought it is and now I totally understand why some parents have no control of their child at all.