Wedding Photos + OSCAR Test Results

You must be wondering where I got all the time from to blog every single day, but, I just can't wait to share the photos! I know I should have posted this along with the post I did yesterday night, but I only received the photos from RicoAmona at about 12 midnight? Plus I was attempting to download winrar to unzip the file that they sent.

I didn't want to post the photos until the wedding is over, but I thought it would be nice for my friends that I could not invite to see the photos since they can't be there in person!

Anyway, photos aside,
I just received a call from KC YEO Clinic! Oscar result are out, and baby is doing good and healthy. Very low-risk of down syndrome, so no more further tests needed. Mothers that receive high-risk test results are often referred to do the amniotic test where the doctors will have to withdraw some amniotic fluid from the water bag to do a more accurate test. (However, it carries a 1% of miscarriage risk, and not many mothers would opt to do it. OSCAR test can usually be quite inaccurate too!) The procedure: Using a very long needle, and with the ultrasound to guide the doctor, the needle is inserted from the tummy and into the womb. The ultrasound is there to avoid any damage done to the foetus.

Very thankful that I am one of the lucky mothers who received an ideal test result, and I'm happy to know my baby is healthy!! *Heaves a huge sigh of relief*, I can finally stop worrying about everything until the next scan at 20 weeks.


OK, HERE COMES THE PHOTOS! (Best viewed using laptop.)

I wore a total of 4 gowns for this photoshoot, and hubby had 5 (Including his officer attire.) My two sisters Mandy and Jermayne were there to help me out and also to snp pictures, so I'll probably have many more photos to show you once I've gotten from her. 

We chose two places: Botanical Gardens and Haji Lane. We also took some at their studio!

The first outfit: Which is also my favourite! It is a Vera Wang inspired gown :) 

I will be wearing this Tiff & Co coloured gown during the wedding dinner itself! And it looks even more amazing in person!

It honestly looks much easier taking photos than it was because the gown was heavy, all the different and MANY poses that the photographer asked us to do, made the both of us super tired before we even went outdoors to take the photos. (I look pretty tired in some photos :( )

The more "official" ones, with white background. Mom and MIL commented that it was too white, and it couldn't really bring out the gown since the gown is also white in colour. What do you think?

 I personally like this photo alot hehehehe.

Don't be deceived by the pictures!
(Many times, the photographer made Joey stand on books so he looks taller HAHAHA. I was already barefooted!)

Few of my favourites:

 

And a few more in his Officer attire:

 We chose the above photo is our bedroom photo! Joey chose it actually. Hahaha.

Did I mention our photographer is a Korean? He actually took it for real when I lied to him and said I'm from Korea too HAHAHAHA. But he was very nice, and have super a lot of ideas for poses.

Next, photos taken at Botanical Gardens:
It was a Saturday during our photoshoot, and we are quite lucky that it is not that crowded, even though we saw a few couples taking their wedding photos too! The outdoor shoot must really thank Mandy and Jermayne for being around to lift my gown for me because it is super heavy, and when I had to pee in the gown they followed me into the cubicle AHAHAHA. One hold left one hold right LOL!

 

 This is my favourite individual shot!

 Some funny shots suggested by the photographer.

 The photo above was taken inside the little 'waterfall' and you can't see but Jermayne was hiding behind me, helping me hold the leftovers of the dress so they wouldn't be drenched. HAHA.

Next, Haji Lane:
VERY CROWDED!! And we were like the centre of attention and some even took out their phones to snap pictures of us!

 I look so tired in the photo above! :(

 This is taken outside some cafe.

 I look a little dominant in this photo don't you think? HAHAHAHA

 This is cute! But usually it is the other way around, I don't bully him at all!

I SUPER SUPER LOVE THE LAST PHOTO!

It seems like he is holding the hand bouquet like a trophy. Hahaha, a trophy for winning my heart! Okay, that is about all! I hope the photos aren't disappointing to you guys! Like I said earlier on, I will post more as soon as I get the photos from Jerm!

Meanwhile, enjoy the photos!

We didn't exceed the number of photos that we were supposed to choose, and we didn't get extra photos either. But it is okay! Overall I am still pretty pleased with the photos :) Can't wait to see them in the album!

OSCAR TEST WEEK 12.

 HI THERE!

It has only been a day since I announced my pregnancy, but I have been receiving very kind and lovely comments, even from strangers on ask.fm! I feel really really lucky to have receive all these love and kindness from almost everyone. Especially those who asked me stay strong and told me how happy they are for me regarding this pregnancy.

(Even though I have also received weird questions on ask.fm, questions concerning my ex and about sex lolol.) I was also surprised when some of my friends told me that they almost cried reading my previous post! They thought that I was no longer the Phyllis they knew, and that I have grown up to be a much more mature person. What to do? Becoming a mother already, everything must put baby into consideration isn't it? And of course, I am definitely not good enough to be a role model yet! Just being responsible for my own actions and doing my duty as a mother to protect my child :).

This weekend was quite a happy weekend for me! After seeing the baby during OSCAR test, I felt so relieved knowing that the baby is growing well and healthy, and no longer the little peanut that I saw a couple of weeks ago! Baby's father was also more cheerful this weekend knowing that he wants to make me happy. He took the effort to read the post that I published on Sat, and finally realised what I have been going through the past three months. He felt guilty for neglecting my feelings and thus promised to be a more loving husband to me and a loving father to our baby. He even suggested going for antenetal classes and yoga lessons with me! Of course, I am thankful knowing that he is making the effort to change, and be more patient towards my mood swings and temper. Thus, I also made a promise to him by trying to stay as happy as I can, and bear him a healthy and jovial baby :)

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Alright, so what is an OSCAR Test?

Oscar represents: One Stop Clinic for Assessment of Risks.
This is the latest screening program for Down's Syndrome and is usually performed between 11 weeks to 16 weeks of gestation.

Procedures:

1. Firstly, ultrasound scanning is performed to confirm the gestational age and fetal size. The nuchal translucency is also measured.
2. Blood is then taken from the pregnant woman for PAPP-A and free-beta hCG assay. The result will be available after an hour.
3. A software issued by Fetal Medicine Foundation will be used to compute the chance of Down's syndrome. The test is regarded as positive if the computed chance is higher than 1:180 for T21, 1:150 for T13 & T18; otherwise it is negative.
4. About 7% of all women undergoing the screening will have a positive result (high risk). Further invasive procedures such as chorionic villus sampling or amniocentesis will be required to confirm whether the fetus is having Down's syndrome. We recommend chorionic villus sampling as it can be performed before 14 weeks, and have the same risk of amniocentesis (1% abortion rate).
5. A negative screening test indicate that the chance of having a Down fetus is very low, though it cannot be totally excluded.  Invasive procedures are not indicated.

Basically what happened on Sat 19/4/2014 was that I reached the Gynae, did the routine urine test, and went to level 4 of Thomson Medical Centre to register for my oscar test. It was a one time full payment of about S$500++ for two scans, one at week 12 and the other one at week 20. I was told to drink some water so the scan could be more visible. But apparently one cup of water wasn't enough, and the sonographer couldn't get a clear picture of the baby. Worst still, the baby was in a weird position so the lady couldn't measure my baby's neck length and the height. (Anyway the lady was super rude, and was NOT HELPFUL AT ALL) So thankful that the scan wasn't clear enough and I had to go out and walk around, drink more water, hold my bladder in, and allowed another lady to help me with my scan.

The second lady was super helpful and was so funny! Baby was still in an incorrect position when I went back into the room an hour later, so she was probing the baby with the scanning device, shifted me to my left and to my right to probe the baby and made him/her wake up. HAHAHAHA but sleepy baby is a sleepy baby so he (assuming it is a he lah huh!) REFUSED TO BUDGE. I had to cough and poke my tummy for at least a good 20 mins before the baby suddenly woke up and stretched into position! It was super adorable watching him move in my womb and how he kicks his feet in the air and put his fists infront of his face.

I was considered one of the few lucky ones, because many mothers had to postpone the oscar test because the baby refuses to move into the right position for the sonographer to get an accurate reading. So right after that, the sonographer printed the pictures of our baby upon request from Joey, which is why I was able to upload such a define picture of baby in my previous post! Results of Oscar test would be out tomorrow and I am hoping for the best :)

After about 2 hours, we finally went up to Dr Yeo's clinic to see him, where he did another ultrascan to show my mom the baby. Only one person was allowed to go into the Oscar test room, so my mom and sis didn't have the chance to see the baby. Mom seem rather happy though! And keeps on arguing with Joey because he wants a boy and my mom wants a baby girl! Hahaha. I was given SO many medicine to take this week: Iron tablets for my anemia, Calcium pills, pills for gastric, pills for my diarrhea, probiotics, vitamins. I HAVE TO TAKE SO MUCH TABLETS EVERYDAY!!! And those medicines costs a bomb :(

Anyway, Thalassemia results are out, and me and Joey are not carriers :) So for that, we do not have to worry that our baby will suffer from Thalassemia, which is a very good news to the both of us. The next time we have our next baby, we do not have to go through this test anymore!

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That very night, I accompanied my sister to her friend's baby shower because my mom wants me to look at more babies. (You know how superstitious they are, must keep looking at cute baby photos so my baby will be cute next time!) Every single time I carry Milo (my pet rabbit) and plays with her or talk to her, my mom will nag and ask me to stop looking at rabbits HAHAHA.

A photo of me and Gautier!! He is soooo chubby I wanna die from cuteness overload! They are so fragile and I am super scared of dropping the baby HAHAHA. So basically I went to the shower to play with more kids and also to find out tips from mummies regarding pregnancy and childbirth. How? Can pass off as a hot mummy anot? HAHA.

And this is baby Roxanne, who is super calm and cute!! Doesn't cry doesn't whine, and loves to smile! I really can't wait to have my child in my arms, but there is still 7 months to go :(! Joey came to join me after that, and I could tell that he loves kids because after that he kept telling me he won't make me upset anymore because he wants a healthy and happy baby hehehe. Sorry ah all the photos taken are with babies. CANNOT BLAME ME! Motherly instincts are already here. :P It was a long day for me on Saturday, woke up at 7.50am to go for my appointment, and after that to shop with my mom and sis for their gowns and the baby shower. I was so tired I fell asleep immediately after I got back to Joey's place!

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Today (Sunday 20/4/14) is officially my 12 weeks, and I spend the day resting at home and going to baby's fair at expo with MIL (mother in law) and hubby. We decided to just window shop and see what we need and probably get it only at the next baby fair since we do not know the gender of the baby yet. BUT!! Me and Joey bought something for our baby, so that we can look at it and remind ourselves of our gift from god. :)

 

Yes, that is baby's father with the romper we bought for baby! We were arguing whether to get "I love mummy" or "I love daddy" and in the end settled for this to be fair. HAHAHA. Jealousy already started to step in before even the baby is born! Both fighting to be the baby's favourite parent. Hehe.

OH incase if you are wondering if I am showing yet, like every other pregnant mothers, I have already started to take baby bump pictures, and Joey took it for me. (My bump is already starting to show, and my mom kept laughing at me for the bump -_-) Still a tiny bump, but I am sure you can tell! I do hope it is the bump though, cause my tummy has never been this fat. :(
(NOT WHINING THAT I AM FAT AH! I am vain but I know gaining weight is normal!)

Next gynae visit will be 1 month later, and I can't wait to reveal his/her gender to you guys, so stay tuned! I will also update the next few weeks regarding pregnancy symptoms, things regarding pregnancy that you may be curious about. I will also post photos of me and Joey during his cadets' social night next week! It may take some time though, because my first paper is on Thurs, and I'm still struggling with studying. Yes, not easy, so wish me luck! Though I am pretty prepared to flunk :(

Alright! Shall go to bed now and have sufficient sleep and rest with baby.

(I will be blogging actively the next couple of months since I will be home most of the time :) will also post more pictures of Milo next week!! She is growing and getting more adorable hehe :D

This year, my life is going to be ENTIRELY different.

I've decided to come back to blogging, mainly because I want to keep track of the changes in my life, and to always remember the happy and lovely memories that I wish to keep close to my heart.

(Disclaimer: This is going to be a very very VERY lengthy post.)

First of all, big news.

I KNOW! Ever since I've let this news known to public, friends and families, all their reaction was "SO FAST?!", "ARE YOU SURE?!".   Or the usual : Are you pregnant?

Joey proposed to be exactly 2 months ago from today, in the park. This was what I posted on facebook together with the photo of my engagement ring:

"
It was nothing fancy, just me and him strolling down the park, when he knelt down and said a string of sweetest things I've ever heard. He said 'Yes we have not been together for long, but time together does not prove the amount of love we have for each other. They can say we are crazy, and damn right they are. We are just crazily in love with each other. I know I haven't seek approval from your parents and acknowledge from mine, but I will make it happen.'

'We may have doubted each other along the way when we got into a fight because of our differences, but which couple doesn't quarrel? As long as we hold each other hand in hand, never let go of our relationship, we will work together towards both our future. Because of both our occupation, our responsibilities does not permit us to spend much time together and that is the reason why I need you to know that I need you and that I love you. I want to make you the last person that I'll ever need and the last person that I'll ever love. Marry me?'

And with that, I said 'Yes.' "


Story of how we met? (For those who still doesn't know):

It wasn't the most ideal place where we met, and I am actually surprised that I found my love of my life in the least ideal ambience. We met in the club in September 2013. Previously, for those who know me well enough, I do not club as often as I do until last year, when something happened and it strucked me that I was still young, and I should party and lead a life. So that particular night, I met up with a couple of friends and including my best friend Debbie, and went to Zouk. 
I don't want to go into the awkward details, but yes that was how we met. Didn't think too much into this person because I thought he was just another Casanova that fools around in club, so I didn't expect him to ask me out on a date. (OH I DIDN'T MENTION HE ASKED ME TO BE HIS COMMS BALL DATE ON THE NIGHT WE MET. Like seriously?! You ask a girl you just met to be your comms ball date?!) 

His reason was: He felt connected to me, and that was the first time he felt that way with a girl.

And so, our first proper date was to upper pierce reservoir? That was when he brought candles (his forte), champagne and some food, and deliberately walk me through a very dark forest, before we arrived at the reservoir. And after many other dates, we got together the night after his comms ball in October 2013.

So here's the love of my life:

Honestly, being in a relationship with Joey just brought me to many different levels. It was a different feeling with him as compared to any of my previous relationships. I have never been this giving in ANY of my relationships and somehow, he just brings the best out of me. Or rather, we bring the best out of each other. Through this relationship, we have learnt to forgive and forget, to learn to give and take. The reason why we are probably so similar to each other, is because we are born in the same year, same month, and born just three days apart. 

So both of us are pretty stubborn almost all the times! This is when we let down our pride, and give in to one another. WHICH IS SUPER IMPORTANT, or the fight will never cease.

And so.................

we decided to get married. Our initial plan (after the proposal) was to get married in year end 2015, if things go well for the both of us. BUT, one week after the proposal, something HUGE cropped up, and that is the reason why decided to get married in May this year. This something huge can't wait anymore, and trust me, I can't wait to tell EVERYONE!



AND THIS LEADS TO MY NEXT BIGGER NEWS.

I'm guessing my blog has been pretty dead for awhile and nobody actually reads it anymore, and THUS, I am able to blog this before hand, and announce it thereafter.

WAIT WHAT?! I'M PREGNANT?  Yes, me and Joey is having a baby!!
Most of my close friends and family are already aware of this, and I'm just keeping this low for the time being because my mom and MIL (mother-in-law) says it is better to only announce after three months. 

So for those that asked me on ask.fm a couple of weeks ago, it is not because I am ashamed of my pregnancy, that I didn't answer your questions, but because of old wives' tale. SO YESSS!

Okay, let me get started with how we found out, and how we broke the news to our families.


WEEK 4: Feeling confused and lost. (You start counting from the last day of your last period, and for mine it was on 26th Jan)

I was feeling pretty anxious already, cause usually my period is SUPER on time, and comes right after one or two days of cramping. But this month was just different!! I had my slight cramps for about 4 to 5 days already and there was no sign of my period coming at all. Even though I had symptoms like sore boobs and break outs, (and I know it can be signs of pregnancy too).  So on the 23rd of Feb, I couldn't fall asleep, and just in my mind I know there IS ought to be something wrong with my body. A lady knows when your own body feels different, and my boobs were getting so huge and so sore it is irritating the shit out of me. 

And so, since I had a back up pregnancy test kit at home, I had myself tested. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. Usually after peeing on the stick you need to wait about 5-10 mins for the result to settle and I heaved a huge sigh of relief when I saw that one line after I peed. (One line means negative and two lines means positive). BUT!!! Just after 2-3 mins, the second line appeared. It was very very faint and I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. And then I freaked out after I googled the results online. You either see the second line or you don't. Which means, a faint positive test is STILL a positive. 

And of course, I couldn't sleep for the rest of the night because I tried to wake Joey up to show him but he was in his half-asleep state. He only finally absorbed the news when he had to go to work in the morning. I was crying so bad, and I didn't know what to do and how to feel! But I told myself to keep calm and probably get two more kits to assure myself. And true enough, the two other tests that I did a few days later showed positive. So yes, I had to convince myself that I am pregnant, and that it is time to quit smoking. 

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Joey's initial reaction scared me a little when I asked him what we should do, to abort or to keep the baby. (I was very certain in the past that if this situation occured, I will opt for abortion.) But trust me, it is very different when you know you are carrying a life in you, and you will do anything to protect it from anyone who tries to bring harm to it. Joey was a little doubtful at first, worried that it will affect my studies, UNTIL I told him I could defer my studies.

This was exactly what he said:

"I understand that there's many things going through your mind or rather situations that you are in that puts a lot of stress to you. But I want you to know that no matter what the odds are, come what may, I will never leave you in the lurch. We will face this together. I will always be holding your hand and we will fight through this ordeal together because I love you and will not let anything happen to you.

Earlier on when you told me the news, I was shocked but happy at the same time. Because it gave me a chance to show you and prove to you my assurance. One thing you will be assured is that I will never let you walk alone especially in the state like this.

Everything is going to be fine because for the matter, I love you :)  "

After knowing how he reacted, my heart settled and wasn't as confused and upset as before. When I confirmed my pregnancy with two other test kits and told him the moment he reached home, his face lit up with a huge smile and said "REALLY?".

Any rational man would have took the run, but he stayed. He was actually really happy that he was gonna be a father, and that was really comforting for me to know.

BUT!!! The next week was the difficult one, as we break the news to my sister, my mom and his mother, leaving his two other fathers in the dark. When I first told my sister I had something important to tell her, and I wish she would keep to herself, her first reaction was, "Are you going to give me a heart attack?". As yes like many others would do, try and challenge me about what I intend to do, what do I know about this, etc etc. My mom reacted rather calmly, and Joey's mother reacted somehow like how my sister did. Surprisingly, both fathers were the easiest to settle. I'm pretty relieved to know that both families are here to support us and to give us their blessings.

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First of all, I would like to say these to all those who have tried to put us down, to talk us into going for abortion. There is no way I would opt for an abortion (unless there is something wrong with the baby and I had to do it for the baby's sake BUT TOUCHWOOD) because a life is a life, period.

I know we have not been together for a long time, but both of thinks that the time spent together doesn't prove anything as long as we are both in love with each other, and knows what we are doing. Yes, this isn't something that we can just give up on because it is a baby, and it is a life. I understand this is a lifetime commitment and it will not be easy. (Super hate it when people start saying 'you think having a baby is very easy huh') NO FOR FUCK SAKE, I NEVER EVER said that it will be easy. I know it is not easy and it requires much sacrifices from the both of us! Since when did I say it is easy. If it is that simple, why would I bother thinking before making this decision?!

AND YES I know I have to recover completely from my eating disorder and I have to gain weight for the baby. I know this isn't the time to be weight conscious and I understand that the weight gain is for the baby! I will be able to go through it for the sake of my child and do whatever it takes to make sure that the baby is healthy. So, I have quit smoking and have been smoke-free for about 3 weeks to one month now?? I would say it is a great opportunity for me to quit smoking completely since this time I do not have the opportunity to choose. In this way, I force myself to quit nicotine for good.

Another thing is, people often challenge me with things like "How are you gonna take care of the baby?, do you know what you should eat? DON'T KNOW RIGHT? Don't know still wanna keep the baby?! Do you know you're not supposed to eat this? *Points to my drink or my food." EH HELLO I NOT BORN TO BE A MOTHER OKAY. JUST BECAUSE I AM YOUNG DOESN'T MEAN I'M STUPID. Be it 20 year old, 30 or 40, ANY new mothers face the difficulty and the challenges that I face, NOT BECAUSE I AM YOUNG!!! All these is new to us, and all new mothers learn along the way. WHERE GOT GET PREGNANT ONLY STRAIGHT AWAY KNOW ALL THESE. So do not come and lecture me and tell me I'm too young or it is too early to be a mother. All I need is to learn, and learn, and learn again. If I put in the effort to make this pregnancy and marriage work, I don't see why it is impossible.

OK, I've ranted enough.

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I am also pretty prepared for the criticisms I'm gonna receive. FYI, this is not really a shotgun wedding, because Joey proposed to me prior to that, and we are going to get married with or without the baby. It is just that this baby came a little earlier than expected and we had to get married this year. At least I know he isn't marrying me for the sake of doing so!

Oh well, at least he is already working, and I'm gonna start working soon after half a year more of studying. So yes, we can definitely work things out and get through this together.

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WEEK 5: Feeling okay.

Did I mention all my once favourite drinks or food is under RESTRICTIONS?!
All my sashimi, medium rare steak, tea, bubble tea, cold fizzy drinks (ESP COKE LIGHT)  are all restricted :( Some are myths, and some are facts. But I listen to them anyway, just to be safe and sure.

This week, I looked for Gynae online, and actually ask my friends who are already mothers or fathers for recommendations. So in the end, I settled for DR KC YEO from Thomson Medical Centre. My first visit to Gynae was on the 7th of March and both me and Joey was DYING to see the baby through ultrasound!! I didn't really feel pregnant because all the pregnancy symptoms wasn't starting yet, and all that I could feel that was different was my boobs. At the first visit, all we could see was a jelly-bean sized thingy wrapped in a dark space (which is supposed to be the water bag) and it was so cute!!

Because the pregnancy was still early, doctor had to use Transvagina ultrasound to let us view the baby's heartbeat :)))! It seemed scary to Joey cause it was a pretty long stick and they had to stick it up my v. HAHAHA. He went like "WAH OMG, so long?!" But we were both happy to see the baby and was certain that we are not going to abort no matter what, since the baby is all well! Oh yes, I was asked to do a blood test to confirm that everything was okay. The nurse told me "No calls would be good news."



WEEK 6 / 7: ANGSTY

Week 6 was terrible, Joey was away for nine days, and I was going through alot of stress with thinking about how to break the news to the two fathers. (Both of them knew only at the end of week 6). I was having bad mood swings, and the nausea started to kick in. Even though it is called morning sickness, TRUST ME. It lasted for the entire day and has been bugging me for 2 weeks already (Not gone yet.)!! I almost gave up on eating because no matter what I ate, my stomach was rejecting all the food. The worst part it, Joey thinks I'm still purging after every meal on purpose, but dafuq no!! It was the morning sickness that played a huge part in the nausea :(!

Halfway through the week, I was called and the nurse told me I had a relatively low count of red blood cells and had to return to the Gynae on Sat for further tests. I also had a horrible mood swing that week when he was away and was cray cray for 3 days + have been crying a lot. All the stress and the pregnancy symptoms was really driving me nuts! But everything was okay again after I saw the baby on the screen during the appointment! Had to do the ultrasound because I had a fall earlier on during the week and had some spotting of blood. But turns out the baby was fine, just unstable! Phew. 
Given 1 week of hospitalisation leave, and was ordered to stay home to rest. 

This was also my last week of work, as ordered by both parents! Also did a Thalassemia blood test with Joey, to ensure that we are not carriers of the disease and that it will not in turn affect the baby. (I was diagnosed with anemia, so they are afraid that I might be a Thalassemia carrier!) I hope everything will be okay and that the pregnancy will be smooth and easy towards the 2nd trimester!

WEEK 8: STILL ANGSTY

I don't really remember what exactly happened in week 8, but all I remember is there was this day when everything fell apart cause Joey was feeling a lot of stress from work, and I was going crazy staying at home everyday because of the medication! Given a week of hospitalisation leave to stable the pregnancy thus I was home everyday. (I thought I had pre-natal depression lol) But well, it got better after two days, like finally.

Bought our bed, bed frame, his parents got our ceiling fan, wardrobe and dressing table for us! Things are finally falling into place, and I'm feeling a lot more stress-free as compared to weeks ago. Still not dealing well with the pregnancy symptoms tho, the nausea is STILL driving me super mad. I feel bloated all the time and I have crazy cravings for all the unhealthy food. Have been eating like a pig everyday, with everyone feeding me food!! And also starting to miss work :(

Oh yes, at the end of week 8 we visited the Gynae again for a regular check up, and this time, we managed to see the baby moving!! It was amazing because the past two scans, all we saw was the little object and the heart beating! But today, the gynae let us listen to his heartbeat and GAHHHH it was just amazing beyond words can describe! I'm pretty sure all the first time moms out there felt how I felt when you saw the baby move the very first time. 

 

I can't wait for the next gynae visit again!! And we will probably be able to see our baby's head, arms and feet the next time we see him again hehe. (Assuming it is a he because the father prefers a son.) Joey is always talking to my tummy and kissing my tummy even though you can't even see the bump yet, but it makes me happy seeing such a heartwarming scene. :) And if it is a son, we have decided on the name Tristan! Though once in awhile Joey will call him Tyler Hayden Ng lol. I'm not very supportive of his idea of the middle name! I always say "act what angmoh middle name, so act can I don't like!! " SO NOOOOO NO MIDDLE NAME FOR OUR CHILDREN. Oh yes, I have gained 2 kg -_-


WEEK 9: HAPPY/ CHEERFUL

Pregnancy symptoms are not gone yet, still having nausea here and there. Bloating and heartburn are driving me mad, and I can't sleep at night! Worse part is when you caught a flu or having headache and yet there isn't any medication you should take because it is not good for the baby.

For someone who was so dependent on panadol extra for my migraines, I had to endure the pain and live without medication :( This week was rather okay, not much moodswings or whatsoever, just hungry all the time. There were two days where I was trying to sleep but the hunger just woke me up and I had to wake up in the middle of the night to satisfy the hunger before I could fall asleep. There was this morning I woke up at 6am to eat bread before going back to sleep cause I got woken up by my growling stomach. I REALLY need to stop eating so much and stop eating junk food though. :( Doctor says I'm putting too much weight for now and that I should start eating healthily. Sigh. Energy level is SUPER LOW these couple of weeks and I can't even find any motivation to do anything, I just want to sleep all the time -_-.

There are many questions on ask.fm these couple of weeks, and some people just wouldn't give me a break about questions regarding me being pregnant. I am NOT ashamed, I know I've said this before but I AM REALLY NOT ASHAMED of my pregnancy and situation! And some insensitive people just keep saying about us having a shotgun marriage (ok I know I can't stop people from gossiping ) BUT DAFUQQQQ do you not understand, he is not marrying me because of the pregnancy but because he loves me!! Lol nvm, this will not stop all the gossips anyway.

I will not let it bother me because those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter. Period.

As long as I know I am happy, nothing else matters :)

OH YES, I forgot to mention about the hormonal break outs. THE BREAK OUTS ARE SO BAD I WANNA CRY SOMETIMES. Yes, these hormone changes from the pregnancy not only drives you crazy, gives you mood swings, makes you vomit, but makes you ugly as well. I've been taking care of my face, drinking more water, eating more fruits, washing my face with water more regularly, BUT ALL TO NO AVAIL. So yes, be prepared for bad skin. (I've also been warned that areas like my armpit and my boobs and my tummy will all turn dark. EEEW, wouldn't it look really dirty?) Not looking forward to that at all.

BUT IT IS OKAY, all these sacrifices are for my baby and it is all gonna be worth it when he/she comes to the world in about 7 months time. Can't wait to pop you!! (PS* And looking forward to a bigger baby bump)


WEEK 10: NORMAL

It is coming week 11 tomorrow and my dear fiance is out in the jungle, and will only be home tomorrow morning (Sunday). But this entire week was pretty okay, only feeling super lazy and nua, so I hadn't really started on my studying YET, but will do it tomorrow! This week was a rather busy week for dear, so he hasn't been home early at all. (I will get to him and his job later on!)

Symptoms of pregnancy has more or less died down, I still pee very often, but nausea only happens at night now. Yeah I know, pretty ironic, wasn't it supposed to be morning sickness? Why is it night sickness for me! It makes it so difficult for me to fall asleep especially with the heartburn and bloating. But all is good, if compared to the earlier weeks. Energy level still not coming back yet, I still feel tired all the time (and that explains why I haven't been studying). NOT EXCUSE HOR. Please ask any pregnant mothers around they will understand. The worst part is? I can't take any redbull or coffee to keep myself awake to study because pregnant mothers are not allowed to take caffeine. Max of 2 cups of coffee, but best is avoid completely. Yes, I have to cut down on my fav bubble tea :( ! 

Started wearing babydoll dresses or rather considered as tops for me, so I feel more comfortable! Recently starting to hate wearing body hugging clothes cause they make me feel damn fat and it is super uncomfortable to move in. Joey complains the babydoll dresses look so unflattering for me, and I got mad. LIKE HELLO WHAT YOU EXPECT YOUR WIFE TO WEAR! Bralet huh!? Do I even have much choice?! *snarls at him* My favourite lines after I got pregnant : YOU TRY AND GET PREGNANT LAH.

HAHAHAHA, but one thing good about being pregnant, you win almost all the time. You get to choose what you want to eat, what you want to do, and where you want to go. Perks huh.

OH YES! Can't wait for next week to come!! My next gynae visit will be on the 19th of April, and I will probably get to see ALOT of my dear baby during the ultrasound since I am doing my oscar test. This test is to help predict the possibility of any deformities or down-syndrome in our baby, so I'm looking forward to it, and hoping my baby will be healthy! And then 5 more weeks I will get to know his/her gender! Boy or girl doesn't matter as long as you are healthy hehehe. Before I announce it on social media about this, I will probably post a photo of the ultrascan after the gynae visit on next Saturday! :3 


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Really keeping my fingers crossed that all my loved ones and people/friends I really care about are happy for me. So, please give me your blessings and be happy for me? :)

Okay, now leading to his job, since quite a number have asked me what is he working as, etc.
  
Joey has recently commissioned and has signed-on with the army, with about 2 years and 6 months of service left. 

Yeap, that is mother-in-law together with dear during his commissioning parade!
Now all I can say is, : I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN.

I should have known being a girlfriend of an officer would be so annoying! But of course, I'm lucky he is not posted to like Tekong or some camps where he has to stay in for five days and come out only during the weekends. But trust me, there is not much difference. Oh! He chose his post, and decided to stay in OCS to be an instructor, because he always says this: "I want to make a difference in someone's life." He said that he has learnt so much from his previous instructors, and would like to do the same, or even better, be a positive influence or role model to his cadets. For that, I am super proud of him.

BUT! Proud is one thing. I am happy that he is responsible for his job, doesn't geng, doesn't nua, but being away from him especially now that I'm pregnant, sucks BIG TIME. His work takes up 3/4 of his time, and he reports to camp sometimes at unearthly hours like 3am. Good thing is I stay near his camp, so at least he still comes home to sleep! And yes like what I said, most of the time, only to sleep. Why? Because usually he leaves home for work at 6am and comes home most of the time at 10/11pm. So by the time he reaches home, he eats, bathes and sleep. 

Did I mention the night before our wedding photoshoot, he only got home at 5am?! And I had to find a cab at 5am, go to OCS to pick him up, and come back for a 2 hour nap before we go for our shoot. And these are times when his cadets screw up the exercises or loses something, and their poor instructors can't go home either.

Outfield? EVERY WEEK. Sometimes 1 day, sometimes 3, 5, or even up to 9 days. If he goes to Tekong and he goes too deep into the jungle, there will be no signal on his phone, and he will just go uncontactable. Not to mention those Saturdays that he burnt! He only gets to clear his off-in-lieu on mondays, and sometimes, some unofficial events or unofficial made official because attendance is compulsory, is held on his off days. WHAT THE FUCKKK?! Then give off days for fuck omg. Pardon my choice of words but, it just doesn't make sense! Where is the work-family balance that he ought to have?! Might as well kidnap him for 5 years right anot!

OH WELL, just let me rant away, I know I can make no difference so just let me whine and make myself feel better about his absence. Now all I am looking forward to is his block leave from 27th APR to 5th MAY, even though I'm having my exams. :( And looking forward to when his cadets commission, so I can finally have his time for 2 months? Still working but not as hectic as 4am to 11pm kind. 

Alright, I am done ranting here about his job, since you have probably heard or seen all the rants on my facebook! 

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On a side note, things to take note about during pregnancy (from what I've learnt these couple of weeks) and some advices! :

- Avoid raw food. (Like raw salmon, beef that are not entirely cooked), all these is to prevent yourself from developing a disease that arises from uncooked food. Though I eat them once in awhile! As long as you are sure that it is clean, it is actually okay. Some Japanese even think that avoiding raw food during pregnancy is an insult to their culture!

- Avoid Caffeine. What I was told is, a maximum of 2 cups of coffee per day, or 4 cups of tea. Since coke and some other carbonated drinks contain caffeine, it is best to avoid them! (I still take coke light though hehe), but I no longer touch coffee.

- It is advised to eat only cooked vegetables.

- No deli-meat! Especially those cold, cooked meat.

- Quit smoking. Yes, I've stopped smoking since I found out that I was pregnant, and has been trying to advice the father (Joey) to quit, but to no avail. Thus, quitting alone was pretty hard for me, and it was even more difficult to be around smokers. So fathers, if your wife is pregnant, PLEASE get rid of the cigarettes. Even if you are not doing for the mother, do it for your beloved unborn child. If your wife was a smoker, do it together with her, and trust me, she would really appreciate your effort if you do so. Since she can do it for her baby, why couldn't you? 

- Stop drinking. This is no difficult task for me since I don't have the habit of drinking. Even when I party, I do not really drink much, so yes. BUT! I heard that one glass of wine per week is actually beneficial to the mother and her child! Better to be safe than sorry, consult your gynae before you do it :)

- I was told not to eat broad beans or the yellow kind of noodles as it causes baby to have jaundice.

- Avoid cold drinks. Though honestly I think this is an old wives' tale. It is not scientifically proven that it will have adverse effects on yourself or the baby, because by the time the cold drink reaches your intestines, the water is already in room-temperature. But I still try and respect my parents/ parents in law by taking their advices.

- Stay happy. I was also told by my gynae to try and stay happy all the time, because whatever you feel, the baby feels. BUT DO YOU KNOW HOW DIFFICULT IT IS. (Gonna rant about the raging hormones again!!) Of course if I have the option I would love to be happy all the time. Why would I want to live in stress and make myself upset all the time. Right anot?! So fathers, please please be understanding if your wives encounter bad mood swings or snaps at no reason, IT IS THE HORMONES. We are not trying to blame everything on the baby, but seriously we CAN'T CONTROL. Stop trying to tell me that I need to stop living in stress or stop feeling depressed when you don't even know what is happening in my life! Fathers, just give in. You want a happy baby? Make your wife happy and try to be understanding towards her feelings. Creating a baby is exhausting work, and if your wife is sacrificing her body to bear you your child, show your appreciation by at least being her pillar of strength and be understanding towards her condition. Be there for her, because she needs alot of support during this period of time. 

- Fathers? Stop breaking promises. If you promise your wife something, fulfill it. Stop the all talk and no action shit. Because the next thing you know? When you promise her something again, she will be rolling her eyes, and she would be thinking " Yeah, what complete bullshit." Don't let your wife lose faith in you, she needs to trust that you will take care of her and the baby.

- Fathers, it is super normal for your wife to worry about the baby. Joey sometimes do not understand why I worry so much about the baby's health and well-being. Like once in awhile I will say things like "omg I don't know if the baby is okay, I haven't seen him or her for awhile and I'm super worried." Because the life is in the woman. She feels for her baby. She is the only one that is connected to your child, so naturally, she will worry about her baby. Especially during the first trimester when the baby is most fragile. DO NOT CALL HER PARANOID.

- Moms, when you encounter mood swings, try to find some place to calm yourselves down, just in case you say things out of the spite of anger. Just get away from everyone.

- Always remember to take your prenatal vitamins and folic acid. VERY important during your pregnancy if you want a healthy growing baby!

- Be prepared to give up all your pretty clothes/dresses. Now with your baby bump, you will have to choose something that is comfortable > fancy. 

- Be prepared for bad outbreaks. There isn't anything like pregnancy glow, there is NO glow at all. I just keep having bad pimple outbreaks and dry skin :( 

That is pretty much all that I know for now! 

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Week 11: Disappointed/ Upset/ Numb

This week, I was very close to giving up. Very very close. Honestly, I have been going through a lot of emotions the past few weeks, and I got really tired after the many weekends of emotional turmoil. I did not know who to turn to, who I can talk to about this, because no one really bothers to try and see things on my perspective. Of course, I have to thank those girlfriends of mine who has been around me and supporting me these weeks, telling me to hang on, to not give up, and always to think about my baby.

Many at times, it felt like I was going through this pregnancy alone, not because Joey doesn't care, but more of he didn't really understand what was going on with my body and my mind. I was completely worn out, I break down, I blame myself for many things that happened. 

You have any idea how it felt when someone tells you that you are selfish, irresponsible, and do not care about the baby, when all you can ever think about is your child. I have given up so many, almost everything I have now for the baby, and all you can say is that I am selfish? My work, my dreams, my body, my life, and including my studies. I had to either give them up or just put them on hold so that I can give this baby the chance to live. If I was irresponsible, selfish, I could have just aborted the baby and my life would have gone back to normal. But I didn't. Because why? I love and care for the baby. 

They will ask you to wake up your idea, think for the baby, compose yourself, think for the baby, stop crying, stop affecting the baby, stop putting the baby at risk. Has anyone thought about me? Given some time to think about the fact that I am actually human and I do have feelings? Tell me how is it even possible that any human being can go through this amount of stress and anxiety without breaking? I AM ONLY HUMAN. I HAVE EMOTIONS THAT I NEED TO LET GO. 

Just because the woman is the only one carrying the baby, doesn't mean that she has to be the only one being responsible for the child. Pregnancy is no one-woman-show. She needs support too. Just because the baby is connected to his/her mother, the responsibility immediately lies on the woman, what about the man? Should the father play a part in the entire pregnancy too?

Other than all these, I am pretty worried for the baby because I've been feeling much stress lately, and I do not want the baby to be affected. It is just two days away from the gynae visit, and I can't wait to find out if he or she is okay and that is growing fine. I hope my worry is unnecessary and that everything will go on well. Stomach isn't really well behave this week, and I have been having diarrhea for three days straight already :( Even went to see the doctor because I can't take any pills without instructions from doctors. Hopefully by the end of tonight the diarrhea will cease and that I can feel better.

Oh yes, can't wait to get more suitable tops and dresses for myself that I can still afford to wear during pregnancy! Baby bump still not really obvious yet, and I try to suck in the tummy once in awhile. (My mom scolds me whenever I try to do that, cause apparently it is not good for the baby, so yeah I will probably let those fats show :(  )

Oh just incase if you are wondering, I have been trying to be a good wife. Even though most of the time Joey ends late at work, whenever I have the time, ingredients and energy to do so, I will try and cook and leave dinner for him at night. Either that or I will remember to buy food and keep it till night time where he can finally eat after his work. I do not just stay at home and "shake leg". Whenever milo (my pet rabbit)'s cage is dirty, I will also clean and change it for her. So, I never bum around and not do anything okay! Plus I research on more stuffs about the pregnancy to keep myself occupied, and make full use of my time.
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Fathers?

You may think that, you are losing out on time with your friends, considering that you have to spend most of your time by being there for your wife, but ask yourself: Are all these sacrifices going to be worth it? How much are you really willing to give up for your family? Or do you think that you are still young and that you should be given the luxury to spend time drinking and traveling with your friends (young fathers)? For the record, I'm talking only about this period of time, when you are walking your wife through the pregnancy, not your ENTIRE LIFE.

If this situation were to be the other way around, and the men are carrying the baby instead, think about what you can do and what you can't do. And if us women are not the one carrying the baby, how would you feel if you are struggling during pregnancy and us women just go ahead and make plans without putting you and the baby into consideration? Would you feel good if you are missing out on almost everything and us women have the luxury to do whatever we want to, without thinking about you. 

All we are asking is these 9 months, be with us, spiritually. Participate IN the pregnancy because you are part of it too. This is OUR child that we are carrying, not MY child. 

(I'm not really ranting, just attempting to help fathers out there understand what mothers are going through, and trust me, they are not being a bitch for no reason.) 

And ladies: When you get pregnant, you will understand. (Unless you are one of the lucky ones that encounter no morning sickness, no horrible skin break-outs, no mood swings, and probably have a very very very understanding and loving husband.)

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Today's GYNAE visit marks the 12th week into my pregnancy!!!

It's OFFICIALLY 3 MONTHS!!! 

Say Hi to little baby!!

Please be kind with your comments if you have nothing nice to say! Will still do weekly updates about baby here! (And will talk about baby's oscar test next week!)